


A Confession... Sort of

by Marquise (Marquise_De_Sang)



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: (you the reader will get secondhand embarrassment), Confessions, Embarrassment, I don't even know just take this, M/M, Multi, Near Death Experiences, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Social Anxiety, awful compliments, what are tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-26 17:42:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19010683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marquise_De_Sang/pseuds/Marquise
Summary: Vaughn was just trying to live out his life as peacefully as possible on Helios. Sure, he did a little fraud here and there, had ended men's careers before they even started with just a click of a button, a number fudged here and there. But he hadn't killed anyone! Not directly, at least. He did his best to help out Rhys, his best friend, his bro. He ate healthy. He exercised. He did daily meditation.What had he done to deserve his lunch dumped all over the front of him and jealous eyes glaring at him around every corner?





	A Confession... Sort of

**Author's Note:**

> This is heavily based on an rp I did with friends! So big thanks to equus and sparky! (equus was vaughn and sparky was rhys, I was Jack)
> 
> I may write more but for now just take this before I throw myself off a cliff from embarrassment lmao

Vaughn was just trying to live out his life as peacefully as possible on Helios. Sure, he did a little fraud here and there, had ended men's careers before they even started with just a click of a button, a number fudged here and there. But he hadn't killed anyone! Not directly, at least. He did his best to help out Rhys, his best friend, his _bro_. He ate healthy. He exercised. He did daily meditation.

What had he done to deserve his lunch dumped all over the front of him and jealous eyes glaring at him around every corner?

He thought back miserably to what had happened earlier that day…

* * *

“Hey, Rhys, I’m going to swing by the cafeteria. Did you want anything?”

His friend glanced up from the pile of paperwork and coding he was buried in, giving the other a relieved smile. Vaughn always swung by on the way to lunch, even though it was a little out of his way, to check in on him. Rhys was a workaholic, and tended to forget that his stomach existed when he had a lot of work to get done, so Vaughn was usually the one that had to give him the physical reminder.

Rhys perked up at the sight of the accountant, giving the other a beaming smile as he shoved aside a folder. “Oh, yeah, sure! Can you get me a sub sandwich? The usual?”

Yvette popped around the corner, her office being right next to Rhys’s, as if sensing that it was lunch time. That money grubber. “Vaughn, buy me something too?”

“Hah, forget about it, you didn’t even pay me for last time!” Vaughn teased as the woman rolled her eyes at them, waving them off as she went back into her office. She would no doubt just order something and have it delivered instead if she couldn’t mooch off her friends. “I’ll be back in a bit, Rhys, call me if there’s anything else.”

With that he gives a small wave and exits, making his way to the cafeteria. And this was where his vital mistake was. If he was anything like Rhys, who often kept a social media tab open to check on whereabouts of local Hyperion celebrities in case he wanted to conveniently show up there and make an impression, Vaughn would have known to avoid the cafeteria at all costs. Unfortunately, Vaughn wasn’t a fanboy, he was a hungry boy, who only wanted to get some food and be _juuuust_ under the radar so that he wasn’t noticed by any higher ups and he got audited or something.

When he first entered, all had seemed fine. The waters were calm, employees were chit chatting amongst each other, or were deep into their ECHO devices, still doing work even on their lunch. Vaughn got in line, got his caesar salad, Rhys’s sub, and even a nutritional smoothie that he planned on drinking while he was riding his exercise bike. Everything was going according to plan, and there was nothing out of the ordinary.

Then, the sound of a crowd and a loud voice ringing around from inside the crowd. “Yes, hello to all of my adoring fans! No autographs, ladies, please. Oh, on your…? Oh, sure thing, babe…”

Vaughn paled as he realized he was the only employee that wasn’t immediately rushing to join the crowd of admiring people to the Hyperion CEO himself, Handsome Jack. He cursed softly under his breath, his only exit on the far side of the room, which was an easy way to get spotted. The accountant quickly paid for his lunch items, though he probably could have gotten away with stealing it with the way the cashier was barely paying attention to him. He bundled the items up in his arms and started fast-walking towards the hall.

“Hey! You! Nerd with the glasses!” Vaughn froze with a nervous yelp, hoping beyond hope that he was talking about some _other_ nerd with glasses, but it was unlikely considering his next words. “Yeah, you. Why aren’t you over here adoring me?”

He turned almost mechanically towards the sound of Jack’s voice, his bones creaking in protest as he did. Vaughn reluctantly peeked his head up over his lunch and took in the scene before him. The crowd had parted, and he could see Handsome Jack clearly looking at him, his large arms crossed over his chest -- with hands that could strangle the life out of him, Vaughn thought distractingly with an anxious shiver, knowing that no one in the room would save him if Jack decided to do so.

His mouth dropped open. Oh lord, what had he done to deserve the eye of Handsome Jack? If the accountant didn’t react soon, and with a pleasant answer, he was likely to be dead in the water.

He sputtered out the first thing he could think of. “Y--you’re looking very handsome today, s-sir! _Very_ handsome!” Vaughn couldn’t stop himself from shaking like a leaf, some of his smoothie spilling over the edge of his cup. Thinking he was in the clear now that he had given the man a compliment, he spun on his heel, trying to make it to the nearest exit before he dumped any more of his lunch.

The compliment seemed to have worked! … but only for a moment. Perhaps Handsome Jack realized that the compliment wasn’t as genuine as it could have been, he wasn't sure, but he heard the crowd murmuring. Vaughn went into what he could've sworn was a heart attack when he heard the CEO once more, but closer now. In the process he dumped half of his lunch items on himself, hands fumbling to rectify the spilling food before he lost everything.

"Hey, get your scrawny ass back over here and say it to my face!"

Or before he lost his shit.

The accountant turned, miserable and covered in nutritional sludge and random pieces of salad, and the ridiculous amounts of mayonnaise Rhys loved on his stupid sandwich, glasses askew on his face as he tried his best to give a smile. Why was their boss so difficult to please! Vaughn gave a nervous laugh as he stared at the floor, at the approaching sneakers of Handsome Jack who was stomping up to him until he was nearly a foot or so away.

The Hyperion employees sensed the blood in the water, having followed Jack to watch the ensuing drama. They made a circle around the two of them, ensuring all of Vaughn's easy exits would be cut off. He could just feel the gleeful gazes of his coworkers, waiting to see how Vaughn could possibly disemboweled. There were already bets being made on how he would die at Jack's hands -- the odds were against him on making it out alive. A few had even started recording.

Ah yes. Hashtag that Hyperion life.

Vaughn cleared his throat, glancing up to meet Jack's intense gaze, giving a nervous squeak. He had never been this close to Jack, and he was wishing that Rhys was here to smooth all this over. Rhys was good at people pleasing! Especially if it was Handsome Jack, with him being Rhys's idol and all. Vaughn was better with the numbers part of the business.

Jack quirked a brow at his employee's  reaction, and Vaughn repeated himself, a little louder. Perhaps he just hadn't heard him the first time? "Y-you're looking v-very handsome today!! Sir!"

But it was obvious that the line wasn't going over well. The brow Jack had quirked slowly dipped back down, the smile that had been on his lips disappearing. Vaughn felt cold, a sharp thrill shooting up his spine as he realized how close to death he was. Jack's "adoring fans" were whispering amongst each other, watching with eager eyes.

"Now, kiddo… that just sounds… _rehearsed_." He takes a step closer, the smile coming back but there's an edge to it that makes the blood in the accountant's veins turn to ice. "Why don't you give Handsome Jack a nice, _unique_ compliment, sweetheart? With some meaning." The smile widens to a grin that kickstarts Vaughn's heart enough for him to reply.

"Y-you…. You've got… b-beautiful eyes…?" His voice is a pitch higher than normal, and Vaughn can't help the nervous and fearful baring of his teeth that follows his compliment. A smile that says please, _please_ don't kill me.

It looked like that wasn't going to be enough, either. Jack takes another step closer, and it takes every ounce of Vaughn's being not to flee right then and there. " _And…_?"

The crowd closes around him even more, and the pressure is practically palpable, squeezing on his lungs. Chest pain, trouble breathing, cold sweat. Was he drowning? This was definitely all the symptoms of drowning.

"Gr-great hair?" Vaughn added, nervous laughter bubbling from his throat.

A miss, again. " ** _And?_ **" Now Vaughn is practically nose to nose -- well, chest to nose -- with Handsome Jack. The CEO has such a shark-toothed grin that it causes Vaughn to stop and rethink his course of action. Just one brain-shattering second where he breathes in, closes his eyes, and breathes out.

The pressure must have cracked Vaughn for him to think of this hair-brained idea. If he couldn’t compliment Jack, maybe he should just imagine him as someone else entirely…

He takes another breath as his mind focuses and the compliments spill out of him. “You, you’ve got the nicest smile! You’re so charming, and tall. And you’ve always had admirable legs!” He peeks to see if maybe his words were having an effect but he quickly closes them again with a squeak, barely enough to register anything he saw. He didn’t want to know if he had just tipped over the edge to his doom. He just had to keep thinking about Rhys instead…!

“You can reach the top shelf and I -- I mean, everyone loves that about you! You have such a great sense of fashion, and you’re just, you’re just so confident! You could have anyone eating out of your hand at any time, any where, just by being you!” He’s getting a little more excitable now, far too into his confession of feelings that he barely remembers what he was so anxious about to begin with. “Everybody loves you, I mean, why wouldn’t they?”

His expression becomes soft, his eyes opening a bit as he relaxes, staring at the floor fondly and a bit embarrassed. “You’re so cool, and suave, and funny! I can barely even consider my luck in being your best fr--” It’s at this point he remembers who he was talking to, quickly correcting himself, “Employee! Working for you has been _such a treat_!”

And, because Vaughn remembered that he was talking to Jack and not to Rhys like he had been imagining, he clammed up. He held what was left of his lunch items close to his chest, trying not to squirm at the feeling of the smoothie that was sopping into his shoes now, daring a glance up at Jack’s expression.

Handsome Jack looks stunned, stunned _speechless_ , in fact. A feat that Vaughn had never thought possible. A few of the fans around them collapsed to the floor in a faint, though he hadn’t the slightest clue why. The whole room was dead silent now, and the anxiety bubbled in Vaughn’s chest again. Was this a mistake? Was he even worse off than he was before?

And then Jack broke out into a tremendously wide grin, his mismatched eyes gleaming with joy. “My god, kiddo! You must be my number one fan!” Vaughn nearly chokes as Jack gives him a hearty slap on the back, dropping his salad all over himself completely. The CEO takes this opportunity to slide an arm around the smaller man’s shoulders and bring him flush to his side. Vaughn wasn’t sure if his face was on fire or if he felt cold -- if he was in hell, or if hell had frozen over.

“S-sir?” He sputtered out, his heart still raw from his impromptu confession.

“You must’ve been holding those words in your heart for me the whole time! No wonder you were fumbling over yourself.” His grin turns into a cheeky smirk, using a thumb to wipe away a smudge left behind by the food shenanigans on Vaughn’s face. The accountant swallowed, heart stuttering.

“Must have been hard to get that confession out, but I’m glad it did!” Jack continued, pinching the cheek he had just wiped with his thumb. “You’re cute, pumpkin, real cute. I could listen to you sing my praises all day!” He had an almost prideful look on his face, as if Vaughn’s confession had pumped his ego up to max.

Vaughn nervously tittered as he tried to comprehend the situation he had gotten himself in. Just as he was thinking of a way to escape, Jack tightens his grip and he makes a terrified squeak.

“Hey, kiddo, can you calm down for a second so we can get a selfie?” Jack had pulled out his ECHO device, looking expectantly down at Vaughn and waiting for him to oblige. The accountant nods rapidly, _anything_ he could do to get out of this situation, giving the best smile he could manage even though he could no longer feel his face.

He takes the picture of the both of them, letting go of Vaughn so suddenly that he nearly collapsed where he stood on two shaky legs. Jack is typing away, and Vaughn can see he’s posting the image to Instagram, with several obnoxious hashtags. “Hey, kiddo, what’d you say your name was?”

Vaughn hadn’t said what his name was, but the fact that Jack was interested felt like bad news. “It’s -- my name is Vaughn, sir.” He sounded so timid, his voice just a whisper. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Vaughn. It’s Vaughn… Mr. Handsome Jack. Sir.”

“Vawn?” The way he says it is like it’s unfamiliar to him, but also he was pronouncing it in the worst way possible. Vaughn would never again make fun of Rhys again for getting defensive when people pronounced his name as Reeze. Jack seems to add this to his image before posting it. “Ohoho, yeah, they’ll eat this shit up. Thanks, pumpkin!”

“D-don’t mention it, sir.” _Really_. _Don’t_ , Vaughn thinks as he starts to feel his ECHO vibrating in his pocket. “Wh-while I love, being in… in your presence and all! I’m just, oooh,” Vaughn fakes a swoon, taking a step back to “catch” himself, “It’s just too much f-for me to handle! I -- I should go!” He licks his lips as he tries to think of another excuse to get him out of this situation and back to Rhys’s office. “I don’t want to -- uh! -- burden you with my company any longer!”

Jack gave a hearty laugh, giving another pat on the back, albeit more gentle this time. “Oh, I know, babe. It’s so hard to be in the presence of greatness, especially for this _long_. But you’ll never be a burden, vital Hyperion employee!” He gives two finger guns and Vaughn, with much practice in finger gun fights, quickly feigns being shot in the heart by them. “Now daddy’s gotta get back to work. Keep making me money, you beautiful son of a bitch!”

The CEO winks at him before turning and walking away, and the fans that had been around them either follow or disperse. Some of the fans begrudgingly traded bets, having lost thanks to Vaughn being alive. Not only that, but he had more than a few jealous eyes glaring at him, and he was starting to realize that maybe the battle wasn’t over yet completely…

Vaughn hoped that everything would blow over in a few days. He could just hide out in his office until Jack forgot about him and it would all go back to normal. He doubted Jack would even remember his name! He was notoriously bad at remembering names, Vaughn recalled.

He nearly bolted out of the cafeteria, digging into his pocket where his ECHO still buzzed away. Five missed calls, all from Rhys. Vaughn sighed, grateful that at least someone still actually cared about him. He was making his way back to Rhys’s office as he answered. “Hey, bro, sorry, uuhh. Lines were crazy.”

“Lines were crazy!?! Bro!! You met Handsome freakin’ Jack and didn’t even call me to let me know!!” Rhys shouted somewhat excitedly through the phone. “Do you even realize how big this is?? You have _got_ to tell me everything.”

“Oh god, did it already blow up that quickly? Just, stay at your office and I’ll tell you everything…”

* * *

Meanwhile, a king sat on his throne admiring a picture. His lips twisted up into a smile. “Oh, Vaughn. I’m going to have so much fun with you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I sincerely don't know where to go next! If you wanna leave me a comment with thoughts that would be great! Thank you!


End file.
